Falling with Style

I had a salad yesterday for lunch.  My first salad in a month and it was pretty darn good.

The Nica diet is very carb heavy (lots of bread, beans, and rice), somewhat light on the fruit, and VERY lacking in vegetables.

Exhibit A:

So after about a month I was more than ready for a salad.   I went to the local supermarket to buy the ingredients around noon.  The struggle really started when I went to check out: I realized I had left my dollars for safekeeping in my other bag and that I didn't have enough cordobas (local currency) on me to pay for everything.  I asked the cashier if I could put some of my items back and he agreed.  It's a process that involves calling over the manager, canceling out the order, and re-scanning everything-- not to mention the math involved in trying to guess what I can buy and what to put back.

Just as the manager is making his way over, I remember this is the one store in town where I can use my credit card.  So now that I've settle on a type of payment, I'm still struggling to get my card and license out because it's hot and my leather wallet has apparently been coated in glue when I wasn't looking and thank goodness the poor cashier is so patient and the ladies behind me sort of just roll their eyes and chuckle because I'm just a gringa after all.

If there's anything I've learned in my past month here, it's how to fail well.  In my first week, I might have been beating myself up over the scene I caused.  Not so now, I just brushed it off with a semi-embarrassed smile, a heartfelt sorry to the cashier, and the knowledge that something similar will undoubtedly occur again.

Learning to allow myself the permission to fail has been equal parts difficult and freeing.  It's been about surrendering my desire for perfection, letting go of my pride, and realizing that failure is not only a very important part of learning, but perhaps the most important part.  It's the reason I know that "año" means year but "ano" means butt.  It's the reason I will never point at a moto taxi as a part of a conversation.

I'm learning to let myself fail, and in doing so, I'm failing with much more grace than ever before.  The truth is, I'm human.  Whether you're in another country like me or sitting in your own house, we're all going to screw up.  We're dependable like that!  We may as well allow ourselves the freedom to do so rather than expecting perfection from imperfect beings.

To anyone not walking through life with me right now (geographically speaking), it may look like I'm spreading my wings and flying for the first time.  But the people with a front row seat know the truth.  In the words of famous philosopher Woody from Toy Story, "That wasn't flying, that was falling with style."